When you’re not okay and yet you have to show up and be okay.  I don’t know which is worse, that or not being okay.

 

Advertisements

Thoughts Before Falling Asleep

Skimming the surface, most of us go through life like this.  We see a man cross the street, dropped his coin, went back to pick up his coin and block an incoming car.  What a stupid man!  On the surface, he values the coin more than his life.  How easy it is for us to draw conclusions and pass on judgments on events and people just because of what we see.  Going deeper is too complicated, too much effort and such a waste of time.  To ask “maybe”, to consider for a split second and to ponder about this man’s life – too much!  Yet, this man has  a story, his coin has a story, his crossing the street has a story – or maybe, it’s simply just that, he just wanted to cross the street, dropped the coin and decided he loves the coin more than his life – stupid man.  Or what about the driver of the incoming car?  The hustle and bustle of life, the busy-ness that we have plunged ourselves into, has made us skim surfaces and move on without taking a second look, without having second thoughts.  Like the wind passing through a tree, blowing the leaves off their branches without looking back, leaving the tree and leaves with their own stories.

Stop and smell the flowers.  Slow down and appreciate life.  Skimming the surface makes you miss out on the beauty of an ice cream cake stuffed with your favorite fruits and flavors.  It doesn’t hurt to go deeper, to look beyond – there’s always so much more than what meets the eye.

Be quick to consider and slow to judge.

Second-Guessing

I notice that look
I disregard it
I shake off the feeling
Of enjoying it

I heard what she said
About you and me
Laugh off the thought
The meaning behind it

And we go round and round in circles
Second-guessing ourselves
Thinking might be, hoping may be
Not truly wanting to dissuade ourselves

Sometimes I feel like
You’re running away
Or maybe I’m haunted
By imaginary days

Is this avoidance
The fear of dismay
To fight off feelings
For prudence’s sake

And we go round and round in circles
Second-guessing ourselves
Thinking might be, hoping may be
Not truly wanting to dissuade ourselves

Maybe it’s time to simply let it go
Enjoy what comes and cry for moments gone
Been reading minds and stares and smiles
I’ve failed too many times don’t want to fail this time

And we go round and round in circles
Second-guessing ourselves
Thinking might be, hoping may be
Not truly wanting to dissuade ourselves

©djklmnopi 11:53 12.01.14

Let Me Speak Some Nonsense With You

Making no sense can be liberating.  It’s like you can say whatever you want to say without even thinking about grammar or connection but just putting all these words out there and watching them play around and try to connect without connecting.  Not all thoughts make sense.  I know.  And it’s beautiful.  It is lovely how from one single, nonsense thought to another and another that something wonderful is being woven together.  It’s like picking up random pebbles by the road and then finding later on your child needs them for an assignment, to fill a jar and plant a little bamboo stick.

And I make no sense most of the time.  And I do not figure out sense from other people most of the time.  And it’s funny how I would remark “it doesn’t make any sense” when in fact, it’s just that I did not get it.  Maybe soul mates are like that – someone who understands your nonsense because it makes sense to him.  And it’s also beautiful, that you can say whatever and not be forced to make sense and then find that a person does truly understand.  Sometimes a little discussion over how nonsense it is can be healthy as well.  That is liberating.  Maybe they got it wrong.  We do not need someone to complete us, we need someone to unwind and free us from the rigidness of rules and trying to make sense, to let us speak and be, without limiting our thoughts.  We all need someone who brings out the nonsense in us and make us feel okay with it.

The Little Things That Are Mine…

Flashback Friday, perhaps? (:  I continue to surprise myself.

©djklmnopi ©debi620 please / pakiusap / por favor / ください, do not reproduce without permission. (:  For your eyes only. 😉

—–

After my last post in my old wordpress blog, I switched to Tumblr.  Back reading and scanning through my archives, I’m amazed at how I used to be (all the rants, raves and babaw moments; the angst I used to have, hobbies, and the humor, goodness the words I use!).  Honestly, my past self makes me smile. (:  I will give my self a pat on the back cos I turned out well. ((:  I will one day sit down and go through each year of my blog just to appreciate what God has walked me through.

If I Can … Maybe I Will

If I can make you smile
I’d like to say it’ll make my day
But your smile only lend my tears delay

If I can make you laugh
I’d like to say they’re music to my ears
But your laughter won’t stop my tears

If I can make this world any better
If I can make people peaceful to each other
If only I can make you see better
If only I can, maybe I can, maybe I will

08.19.14 13:58
© debi620 © djklmnopi

Why We Share?

Sometimes, we find ourselves divulging too much of our thoughts and feelings to certain people, for reasons we try to justify – seeking advices, looking for reassurances or validations, wanting to be heard, or just simply we want to unload some stuff off our chests.  Whatever the reason, sharing does make the load double or half.  Mathematically it is something not possible… either sharing is a multiplier or a divider but it can never be both.  That is why, you know, math cannot explain ALL things in life.  So, I hope they cut down all the years in math that, as students, we took! Well, unless you can prove to me that if I share 1 with 2 I can get a result of 2 and sometimes 0.5 when sharing, mathematically, is dividing something for others.  I’m not here to prove math is useless, I’m just entertaining myself with this idea that ha-ha, math does not have the answer! 😛

What I’m really trying to point out is, how wonderful and amazing sharing does to a person that it puzzles me why some people would still choose not to.  Share your joys, they double.  Share your sorrows, they decrease if not disappear.  When you feel God loves you and you are overwhelmed with this love, share it.  When you feel you are in a trial and you are overwhelmed as well, share it!  That is the magical equation of sharing. (:  Share the good stuff, we feel good.  Share the bad stuff, the burden lightens.

If we’re not yet in the habit of sharing, start small.  Start with a candy, share a thought that makes you happy, or share a concern you have.  In my experience, what good vibes you receive afterwards.

PS. Don’t expect when you share.  Just, share.  And let God work on your heart and your situation. (:  The real subject of sharing is you.  The real benefactor when you share is yourself.  So when you think about it, if you love yourself, you’ll share yourself more!