I am in the valley, the ‘white space’ in my walk with the Lord – the space where you know He’s there but you just can’t see or hear Him. I feel abandoned, let down, disappointed, and yet I know He’s gotten me all secure and safe. It’s just that my heart struggle to accept some things and prefer to enjoy the hurt because the hurt is there but the promise unseen. Yet, His promise, His Word stands firm, it is the only thing that is eternal and lasting, the only truth in all these mess I am in. For the past days I have been praying, “Lord, please speak to me… please talk to me… please…” and like what I told a friend, it felt like an off-air signal on the radio, not even static. I would read His Word each morning to console me that all is not lost and that He is there, always there. I tried reading between the lines, of figuring out what’s going on, of looking for His will yet the more I try, the more I get side-tracked, lost and frustrated. As much as making sense, they don’t. So imagine my delight when I finally opened yesterday’s Faith Gateway devotional “When You Can’t Feel God“. And I know, He has opened the door I’ve been banging on for the past days to slip me this message. This white space necessitates me to walk by faith and not by sight. I clearly do not see any thing that has been promised, I witnessed it being taken away actually. Right now, clearly, His promise is the only thing I have, His Word, His faithfulness, Him – my God.
For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. (2 Corinthians 5:1-9)